Anxiety
Understanding Anxiety: More Than Just a Mind Problem
Carolyn Kirk Counsellor BSc (Hons) MNCPS, working online and in person in Dorset
Anxiety can feel overwhelming — a racing heart, a tight chest, intrusive thoughts that loop endlessly. For many of us, it seems to come from nowhere. We might find ourselves suddenly panicked in a supermarket queue, waking at 3 a.m. dreading going in to work the next day, or avoiding situations that never used to bother us. And then comes the question clients often ask in the first session: “Why is this happening to me?”
The good news is, we know more about anxiety than ever before, and, most importantly, therapy can offer you effective tools to help.
🔬 The Science Behind Anxiety: Your Nervous System in Action
Modern therapeutic approaches recognise that anxiety isn’t just ‘in your head’. We now understand something important, thaat it’s a full-body experience. Our nervous system is wired for survival, and anxiety is part of that system's early warning mechanism. For many people, that system gets stuck on high alert. That is not good news for anyone suffering from the really difficult experience of panic and anxiety. However….our understanding of neuroscience means that we are able to help manage what is happening in our bodies, and that can have a profound effect on how our minds work.
Psychoeducation can be an empowering first step. When clients begin to understand the roles of the amygdala, the vagus nerve, and the sympathetic/parasympathetic systems, something shifts. It’s no longer ‘I’m broken’ but instead, ‘My body is trying to protect me, it just doesn’t know I’m safe’.
1. Regulating the Body First: Somatic Work and the Vagal Nerve
Evidence-based somatic practices, including breathing techniques, grounding exercises, and gentle body awareness, can help regulate the nervous system and calm the body's fear response.
The vagus nerve plays a key role here. It connects the brain to the body and helps us shift out of “fight-or-flight” and into “rest-and-digest.” Working with this system through breath, movement, touch, and awareness can bring relief when words alone can’t.
In my practice, I often integrate somatic tools informed by polyvagal theory to help clients build resilience and a sense of authority over their feelings. When we learn how to settle the body, the mind follows.
2. Working with Deeper Patterns: Beyond the Surface
Once a client feels safer and more resourced, we can begin exploring what lies beneath the anxiety. This is very important, because while the symptoms may be about public speaking, driving, or health worries, often the roots of our anxiety are relational.
Clients may have learned early in life that the world isn’t safe, that their needs don’t matter, or that love is conditional. These deep, often unconscious beliefs can shape the way we respond to stress. In therapy, we gently explore these patterns — not to blame the past, but to understand and loosen its grip.
This deeper work takes time, but it’s where real and lasting change happens.
3. Therapy Can Help: A Holistic and Personal Approach
In our work together, we might:
Build your understanding of anxiety’s biological roots
Develop practical skills to calm and regulate your nervous system
Identify and shift the deeper emotional patterns driving your fears
Strengthen your sense of agency, safety, and self-worth
Every client is different, and therapy is never one-size-fits-all. But wherever you are in your journey, there is hope — and support.
4. Final Thoughts
You really don’t have to live in a constant state of alert. Anxiety may feel like it defines you — but it isn’t ‘you’ at all. My experience with clients is that with the right tools, insight, and support, it’s absolutely possible to feel calmer, more grounded, and more connected to your life. And that then can help you make choices that are beneficial for you going forward.
If this resonates, and you’d like to explore how therapy might support you, feel free to get in touch. I offer a warm, non-judgmental space to begin this work — at your own pace, and in your own way