Anxiety
It all begins with an idea.
Understanding Anxiety: More Than Just a Mind Problem
Carolyn Kirk BSc (Hons) MNCPS, counsellor working online and in person in Dorset
Anxiety can feel overwhelming — a racing heart, a tight chest, breathing quickly, intrusive and repetitive thoughts. Sometimes these symptoms seem to descend on us from nowhere and they make us feel we are out of control of what is happening to us. We might find ourselves suddenly panicked in a supermarket queue, waking at 3 a.m. dreading going in to work the next day, staying awake for hours when we’re exhausted, or avoiding situations that never used to bother us at all.
The good news is that we now know more about anxiety than ever before. Most importantly, therapy can offer you effective tools to help you manage your symptoms of stress, so that you can return to a balanced and more optimistic relaxed state of mind.
The Science Behind Anxiety
Modern therapeutic approaches recognise that anxiety isn’t just ‘in your head’. We now understand that it’s a full body and mind experience. Our nervous system is wired for survival. Anxiety is part of our system's early warning mechanism, telling us to be on the alert for danger. Sometimes, that system gets stuck on high alert. This causes a heightened and sustained stress response manifesting as panic and anxiety.
Our understanding of neuroscience has enabled trained counsellors to support you in managing what is happening in our bodies, and show you to learn how to calm and reassure your mind. Counselling for anxiety and depression offers clients a way to move forward into a more relaxed and non-hypervigilant state.
1. Regulating the Body First: Somatic Work and the Vagal Nerve
Evidence-based somatic practices, including breathing techniques, grounding exercises, and gentle body awareness, can help regulate the nervous system and calm the body's fear response.
The vagus nerve plays a key role here. It connects the brain to the body and helps us shift out of “fight-or-flight” and into “rest-and-digest.” Working with this system through breath, movement, touch, and awareness can bring relief when words alone can’t.
In my practice, I often integrate somatic tools informed by polyvagal theory to help my clients build resilience and a sense of authority over how they experience the effects of their feelings. When we learn how to settle the body, the mind follows.
2. Working with Deeper Patterns: Beyond the Surface
Once a client feels safer and more resourced, we can begin exploring what lies beneath the anxiety. This is very important, because while the symptoms may be about public speaking, driving, or health worries, we often find that the roots of our anxiety are relational.
Clients may have learned early in life that the world isn’t safe, that their needs don’t matter, or that love is conditional. These deep, often unconscious beliefs can shape the way we respond to stress. In therapy, we gently explore these patterns — not to blame others in our past, but to understand and release the aftereffects of our experiences.
This deeper work takes time, but experience shows that this is where real and lasting change can happen.
3. Therapy Can Help: A Holistic and Personal Approach
So, in our work together, we might:
Build your understanding of anxiety’s biological roots
Develop practical skills to calm and regulate your nervous system
Identify and shift the deeper emotional patterns driving your fears
Strengthen your sense of agency, safety, and self-worth
Every client is different, and therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all way of working. But wherever you are in your journey, therapy can offer you practical support leading to changes that you can choose for yourself.
4. Final Thoughts
You really don’t have to live in a constant state of alert. Anxiety may feel like it defines you — but it isn’t acctually ‘you’ at all. My experience with clients is that with the right tools, insight, and support, it’s absolutely possible to feel calmer, more grounded, and more connected, leading to you being able to make choices that are beneficial for you going forward.
If this sounds like the sort of support you’re looking for, and you’d like to explore how therapy with me might support you, feel free to get in touch. I offer a warm, welcoming and completely non-judgmental space to begin our work, always at your own pace, and in your own way