Can therapy help with addiction?
When drinking or substance use becomes a coping strategy
In our society, alcohol is often used to relax, socialise or escape stress. This can make it quite hard to notice when alcohol, weed and other substances can stop being ‘fun’ or a ‘nice way to relax’ and start to become a habitual strategy we use to manage our deeper, more difficult feelings associated with anxiety, depression, stress, loss of motivation and loss of optimism.
Over time, we may begin to notice that our drinking starts to compromise our capacity to connect emotionally with the people we care about most. Sometimes our behaviour when drinking can harm friends’ and loved ones’ sense of safety and trust in us. This can seriously wound them, cause deep misunderstanding and damage our most valued relationships. We may lose our temper, shout or say unkind things we don’t mean, and when those closest to us distance themselves because they feel scared or unsafe, we find ourselves faced with the very situation we’ve been trying so hard to avert.
In my work with clients, drinking and other compulsive behaviours are seen primarily as coping strategies. Often they have slowly become ways of managing difficult feelings we don’t want to look at, such as guilt, grief and loss, shame about ourselves and not feeling good enough, loneliness, anxiety or overwhelm.
This is where a person-centred approach to working with addiction can be especially helpful
Rather than focusing on blame or asking people to become ‘accountable’ for their behaviour, person-centred counselling supports people as they come to understand themselves more deeply and recognise the deeper feelings and beliefs that lie beneath patterns such as emotional withdrawal, drinking or substance misuse.
My work invites clients gently to explore the emotional and relational costs of distance and disconnection, and supports them as they begin to understand what they truly want and need, and how to communicate their most vulnerable feelings and longings, their hopes, fears and dreams, in ways that are calmer, more open and more real, creating safety and greater happiness both for their relationships and for themselves